Monthly Archives: May 2012

Haiku Poem


The blue flash of a kingfisher’s wing

Reminds me of a winter gone by

Its moments now adrift  

 

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The Most Important Relationship


Relationships form the foundation of our existence. So much so, that we define ourselves in terms of our relationship with others. Our success in our roles as a parent, spouse, boss, employee is inherently connected with our sense of worth. We spend a significant portion of our lives trying to communicate better, give more time and energy, indulge in so called sacrifices and compromises, in a bid to seek approval from these relationships. This is because this approval implies an acknowledgement of our very existence. So it is only logical that when one of the pieces of this carefully constructed jig saw goes missing, our entire self concept stands shrouded in doubt.

Hence isn’t it ironic that we ignore the most fundamental relationship in our life, the relationship that will continue till we are alive and maybe even beyond; the relationship with our self.

When was the last time we have spent even five minutes with our self to explore who we really are beyond the narrow purview of these external relationships? In fact many of us start feeling naked and uncomfortable, the moment we are left alone with ourselves. People rush to get their ipods, switch on the television, gab over the phone or simply sleep, just to escape their own company. So why is this prospect of being in one’s own presence so daunting? There are three main reasons for this. One, most of us are not even aware of who we really are? It’s very much like spending an uncomfortable afternoon alone with a complete stranger in a train compartment. After the initial attempts at polite conversation, you just don’t know what to say and are dying to get off at the next station. Isn’t it ironic that after spending an entire life with ourselves, we are yet not familiar with who we are? Secondly, spending time with our self also means the prospect of coming face to face with our perceived lack of successes, failures or lost dreams. We are suddenly confronted with the reality that the set of dreams or ideas we started out with in life are still unactualised or have somewhere changed or simply forgotten along the way. The prospect can be quiet unnerving. Thirdly, once we face these realities, we are then suddenly laden with the responsibility of actually doing something about them. So we take the next best route, i.e. self-deception and denial. But if we really peer in we’ll realise that these reasons are superficial. It’s like avoiding the real gift because you don’t want to meddle with the packaging. Because the fact remains that whether we are aware or not, we are continually evolving, changing, growing. And it would be a big loss if we missed this flowering. In fact all practices like meditation, prayer, remaining in solitude are in fact attempts to introduce us with ourselves, bring us in the presence of our true self. So do not shy away from the prospect, for to deny this meeting is to deny our very existence.