‘You were never really here?’ Who is?


So I began my bright Sunday morning by watching the trailer of ‘You were never really here’ which portrayed the severely talented Joaquin Phoenix parading with a dark beard into darker corridors…rescuing some girl on his shoulders, who was told to shut her eyes and obviously miss all the fun as Mr. Brooding went about bludgeoning and shooting people in his way..

I call him severely talented because whenever I watch him, I kinda feel like reaching inside the movie and asking him, “You do know it’s a film rite….all make-believe? Lighten up buddy, we are all going to die in the end..”

The trailer was soooooo depressing ….they even had a visual of the girl…yeah the same girl he rescued sometime back after so much blood and brain splatter… falling into a dark abyss….

Talk about performance bonus?

I mean the movie was designed to tell you to go fuck yourself because the world sucks… The abyss scene was their final hammer on the head in case you missed their initial subtle attempts at pushing you over the brink🙄

I wonder who likes to pay and see such depressing stuff….supremely happy people dying of joy who probably want to balance it out or…. the seriously suicidal who are wondering what’s holding them back…?

And while I was watching the trailer, my chin pimple who was just a somber-looking dot in the morning started throbbing and is now a wholesome teenager growing by leaps and bounds. I attribute it entirely to the sad-orphins unleashed by this trailer and a wee bit to the enormous eclair consumed the earlier nite.

I mean the name of the movie at least should have served a warning to me….yet I went ahead and plunged right in…first thing in the morning…that too on a Sunday….my bad

And seriously what is America’s obsession with the apocalyptic future and weird looking superheroes and then our critics the same ones who celebrate Avengers say Indian movies are not realistic…

Why is a bunch of Indian girls going on an excessively priced holiday to Phuket in Veere Di Wedding and commenting about orgasms dressed in their Hermes and Gucci bikinis more frivolous than a ten feet tall Thanos sprouting a teeny weeny nose and destroying half the universe…mind you only half…because otherwise, it would die of over-use of resources? Seriously? That’s your logic or some seriously lazy writing? I mean even a 5-year-old has more twists in his cookie stealing story.

And guess what, this moron, Thanos has been bestowed with those universal gems by the universe…what an excessively retarded view of the universal intelligence…if that is there is any left..?

I am sure the critics will write that “You were never really…’ is a great great movie and great screenplay and blah blah…but seriously why all good stuff has to be so gloriously depressing…

And why is America so pessimistic about their future…I don’t see one green tree, a blue lake or a happy child in their futuristic movies…Even if he is there, I am sure they are going to shoot down his family the next moment. Everbody is just killing everybody else. And if the ugliness is not enough, you have those seriously hideous transformer thingies parading stupidly across town mowing down buildings….

Deadpool is the only seriously bright pinpoint of light in this dark superhero world…at least the guy has a sense of humor.

And you would think with so many wars and bloodshed behind us, at least we could imagine a more evolved future….but no luck….

In case you are wondering why I am ranting so endlessly about a movie I am….errr… most certainly going to watch (fan loyalty is a bonafide affliction after all), it’s because the alternative is writing a story that’s currently not going anywhere…or like they say ‘was never really here’

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